I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
