Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
