to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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