If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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