I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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