So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i came on her dog
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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