Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize