Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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