I bet he comes in French.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
