Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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