My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
