umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
