your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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