hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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