i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
