haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
