you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
