We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
two words: eviction party
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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