I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
