I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Randomize
