If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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