im about as happy as oj after his trial
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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