i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
it's like iHOP with fire
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
