dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
