I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
