so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
