my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
