what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
