Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
now i know why i became what i already was.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
