No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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