The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
