As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
