Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
