Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
