So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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