We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
