Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
