I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
