my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
