Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You took a bar mat shot.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
