that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I have post one night stand depression
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