The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
