Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
