i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
