And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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