You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
