Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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