just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
