So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
