Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
