Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
