just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
