I hope mine doesn't look like that
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize