There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize