3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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