He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
