Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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