Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Randomize
