I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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