I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
