dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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