so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
