normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
